MEMOIR

ANGELS OF RANDOM KINDNESS

Every time I went through something in life, someone was always there with me. I’ll dub them Angels. I get them every now and then, every season and time, I just always get them. My helpers. Over time I’ve tried to keep them in my life permanently, I feel guilty when those relationships end, but they’re always going to be my angels.

YOU DESERVE A BREAK

Maybe life isn’t always about fulfilling destiny. Maybe all of life shouldn’t be this arduous journey of finding yourself. Maybe life is a string of many events that culminate into nothing. Maybe you’re just supposed to live, laugh, and make everyday count. Goals are important, maybe don’t spend every single day of your life on a chase. 

BARE: LIFE AS AN EMPATH

If it is a gift, why do I suffer so much? For someone who is emotionally intense, there is a pain that comes with an inescapable sense of being ‘too much’. A person can be made to feel ‘wrong’ for most part of their lives. Internalising this sense of shame can lead to depression, low self-esteem, inability to self-regulate, and an inner emptiness.

TO THE WARRIORS

Mentally ill people are special. Whatever it is that you’re fighting, do remember, you’re among the 1% of the earth, the ones who are always in tune with their brains, the ones whose minds are more powerful than their body, and it makes you a warrior, every, flipping, day.

CARE A LITTLE MORE

I don’t know what spectrum of life you belong to, religious, spiritual, fighting with religion, scientist, IT, Tech, Atheist, Anti-Christ, whatever, just please, stop burying your head under the sand.

WHY DO YOU ROB US?

Why did you have money in your pocket  if you knew robbery was a real thing? Why are banks not made out of steel? Impenetrable doors from top to bottom.

TALK || WINE SESSION || COVID UPDATE || WHAT NEXT

New video out on my YouTube channel ” Hephzeebah” where I talk about what i’ve been up to, moving houses, furnishing, and so on!

Take Good Care of Your Grief

There’s really no way to deal with grief. There’s no way you cut it or slice it, it’ll hurt. There’s no denial or defence mechanism to ever prepare you of someone you know and love is gone. Or your favourite celebrity. 


BARE: LIFE AS A DEPENDANT

It’s been 9 months I moved to Kenya. Also 9 months I’ve been married. it’s been quite the journey. While living in Kenya hasn’t been the most interesting thing to ever happen to me; (This dude marrying me is way more interesting, I still like to ask him, are you even normal? what were you even thinking!) it’s been quite the journey.

The Men-Are-Scum Racket

I’ve seen stories where a man speaks about what it’s like to date a woman living with rape trauma, and people were clapping for him! “Oh so nice of you to withstand all her emotional tantrums bra”. It’s the racket. 

Happy 60th Birthday, My Abimomajeun

Happy birthday Mummy. We love you. I want the whole world to know how I feel about you, today and now. 

RANDOM YARNS: COOKING

So while on some few beers over the weekend, my friends and I started a conversation. I was the proponent of most of the theories, therefore I was on fire (a bit too much fire)

Mindful Eating for Better Health

Mindful eating is maintaining an in-the-moment awareness of the food and drink you put into your mouth and body, it is a more effective weight-loss strategy than starving or keto-ing, or eating grass, although it’s hardly spoken about or used.

LOOK TO THE LIGHTHOUSE

Dear Friend, I won’t ask how you are, I know how. It’s not sunshines and rainbows right now. This morning I had a good cry. 

Maybe Get aHousemate!

Rule of thumb, good friends may not make good roommates. Good roommates may not make good friends.

The Financially Responsible Adult

borderline elite, comfortable middle-class, borderline middle-class, hustler middle-class, any small breeze, and you will join the 70% chilling by the poverty line. 

NIGERIA, PARADOX OF THRIFT…

“One man’s spending is another man’s income” – Saul Eslake, chief economist.

Surviving 4th Day of May

I have written this post for people who may be experiencing anxiety about resuming work, or just really want to do their best while stepping out of the house.

Abstinence, Fornication and Sex

Considering a lot of singles cannot relate at this period (or ever the abstinees haha), do we, or do we not?

Fear, is Good

She’s broke, she doesn’t have savings and all her friends are tired of borrowing her money.

The COVID 19 Basics

But, is it this same you that does not like working out because you only live once? Eating and not working out is as useless as not eating bruv.

CONSPICUOUS CONSUMPTION AND THE TRAP OF THE GREAT OUTDOORS.

In the olden days, farmers were self sufficient. They work hard, consume little, never wasteful. Now we have a rise in people with disposable income. Take away all the essentials we need and we still have some money left.

17 Years Challenge
I grieve different. But I have only ever grieved once. We will all die one day. Death has grabbed the people we love the most. But here I will speak of death, of someone I loved even before I knew what love was, and how I died with it. It was a slow, long, death.

PURPOSE OF HAPPINESS
What makes life worth living? What is happiness? Aside from momentary and fleeting stuff like biting into a slice of BBQ chicken pizza or hanging out with people/someone you love or sitting by the ocean, is there a grand plan to your happiness?

Post-Day
You are the only one you have to deal with. At night, when you lay down your head to sleep.

MARRIAGE, A EULOGY

Six years down the line he wakes me up with a glass of water, freshly pressed juice, or coffee if we drank too much last night.

FORCE

The darkness is dark but I stay where the light is. My madness is lasting but I thread sanity lightly.

THE QUAGMIRE OF BITTERNESS

Anyone who has been on the receiving end of a bitter person with a predisposition for ‘sharp-tongued’ remarks knows that words—especially carefully crafted by a wordsmith’s hateful, scornful mouth—can often cut quite deeply.

BROKEN PAIN METER

When people start to chronicle their pain and use it as an excuse for their actions, when in actual fact, it’s not anywhere

LEFT THE FOLD

I love singing and working in the house of God, but I kept expecting less and less from people!

TRIANGLE

They want you, just a little bit, but you want them more. I hear of how you want somebody else that you cannot have and somebody else wants you and you won’t let them have you, that vicious cycle, never been there!

A TALE OF RUNNING GHOSTS

You never really live your life to the fullest. Because you are always watching your back. And running.

CENTER SWEET

So many things you want to hear but you will end up reading. On the pages of a tattered book you may never find. Or if you get lucky you may decipher from the many lines I spew every day, but that would be when I get to say them!

THE DARKNESS OF NIGHT

I think it is super cool. I love to cut myself, in secret places no one knows. On my heart especially because no one would ever see. I love as the pain sears through the soft parts of my skin, almost as good as the orgasms.

A PLACE CALLED DEATH

We all assume that being alive is the best thing ever, we’re full of, Life! But what do we know about being dead that qualifies us to make that statement?! Why is death bad?

RIP YANG

I miss you. Everyday. Every time I’m lonely or bored or depressed which is pretty much half of  the time in no particular order. You should be here right now listening to me whine about how life is unfair and how i want to be a stupid adult