Men are still the predominant species in this world, in this black world, and even with all the feminist movement, it will take approximately 100 years for it to change, the same number of years it will take Nigerians to learn Love above Religion, Truth above Hypocrisy and Community Service above Greed.
Time and again I have watched, heard and seen women get blamed for their partner’s sins and even insulted for it.
“why did you change after you married him? Why did you stop giving him bjs? Why did you start wearing all those large boring clothes?”
When they are done blaming, they conclude on this note “You are a mumu, you dont know what you want”.
And then there are more horrific ones:
“Why did you marry him when you knew he was a cheating bastard? Were you blind? So now after 9 years you suddenly want to walk away, won’t u appear stupid, you’ve come so far already, what of your 3 kids, You just have to stay it out”.
The severely irritating ones:
“Every man cheats. Every man has roving eyes, at least 90 percent of men do. You cannot control him. You just have to learn to close your eyes to it, at least, of all those girls, he proposed to you. He asked you out! He married you!”. This is the “advise” you get from your mothers, sisters, sisters-in-law, best friends, even counsellors. This will work for you if you are one of those women that consider marriage as an achievement.
Then the religious ones simply ask you to pray for him to change. Well, nothing God cannot do.
The surprising twist is, this is what “intellectual” men have to say:
“oh why would she bother trying to spy on him, she found what she was looking for!”
“Men have roving eyes it cannot be helped”
“But I love her, I really do”
“A woman cannot try and get revenge because at the end of the day she is going to lose when she pushes the man away, you know. These things happen”.
Flip the switch, what would you do if your girl cheats on you? The replies are usually rendered in thunderous voices.
“I won’t lie I’ll feel bad but it can’t happen mehn”
“Is she MAD!!!?” (great emphasis on the D)
“What will be her excuse?”
“I won’t even date a slut in the first place”
“What was she lacking that I did not give her?”
“She probably did it for money, women are after material things”
“How can she want another man??” (They gesture towards their lower region)
“I can never touch her again, how can I go back to where another man has been!!!”
So why is a woman’s private part deemed “property” but a man’s is more like community food?
Research also shows that men never really get over being cheated on. Even after the relationship ends they just never get over it. They just can’t seem to believe she absolutely fancied another man over them. Chips their ego and it’s so cute.
Let’s put aside male or female. Let’s put aside gender equality in the black race. Let’s absolutely not mention feminism. Let’s just respect the Bible. Let’s obey laws of nature. of Karma.
“Do unto others as you would have don’t to you”. “Keep marriage holy and sanctified” Keep your wedding vows. Respect them, respect their feelings. Is that too much for men?
Even without a ring, honor your word. For each time you say I love you, you are making a promise to honor and protect. Also note, there is nothing wrong with being single. If you know you are a range rover, stay single! It’s called cheating because one party is acting dishonestly to get something the other person cannot.